My stereotype of a "perfect" woman is draining my mind. 🤯😞

 

I always had the necessity to romanticize and idealized every girl that I liked. I struggle with this problem since I was in High school. When a girl started to like me, I felt attracted to her, and I started to fantasize with her. I was very shy, and I could say that I continue being, so going with a girl and starting a conversation, to me turned out a very hard task. I panic when a pretty girl was approaching me and started to talk with me.  The only place in the world where I feel secure was in my head. So I started to visualized inside me the moments in which I feel more confident and hold a normal conversation.

Since then, every time that I want to start to go out with a girl or start to chat with someone. I begin to fantasize and see her like a "goddess". It is really frustrating because this drains my focus and makes me feel more insecure. Recently, I started to chat with a pretty girl, she is 6 years younger than me, she likes the same things as me, we have a lot in common. But every time that she answers me, my brain generates dopamine and I feel excited, my brains start to fantasize and live unreal moments (what would happen if she.....). but when she doesn't answer me and pass out my messages, I started to feel uncomfortable and anxious. 

In recent days, I have been thinking... I'm always doing the same things, at least when I try to go out with a girl. then, is there some way to do things correctly?  you know, the painless way for me...I give up with that girl, I'm tired to receive crumbs instead of warmth, reject instead tenderness, I needing someone with who we can laugh at foolish things. But, first, I need to focus and improve myself, afterward, the correct girl will come to me. 

I hope to find a correct partner in my life, someone to share experiences and joyful moments, try to know each other, grow up and get older. 



~S

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